…issues.
Office Spouse and I are just making each other unhappy. Or rather, I am unhappy and that is making him unhappy. Half the time he/I sleep over at the other place I choose to sleep on the couch. I’ve never felt like this for more than an isolated night or two with any other person I’ve dated. You can only imagine what the (non)sex life is like. I can’t figure out what’s going on in my head. Also is it weird that my longest stretches of abstinence are when I’m dating someone exclusively? And they get to be loooooong stretches.
It’s not good. I’ve tricked myself into “happily” dating some unstable/mean guys. Sure they might break my heart sometimes, but I could go right back to ‘em, no hard feelings. Clean slate. But with Office Spouse it’s like one weird unfounded…hard feeling. I resent…something. And until I know what it is, I can’t bring it up and fix it. And he, having never dated before, is not fed up with or remotely concerned.
Tonight’s compromise is sleeping in the same room, different couches.
Yes, this really is that messed up. How I went from going solid weeks in other people’s beds (plural) last year to hating sharing one this year I have no idea…
-M
